Silence

When you get to a certain level of awareness/ consciousness, you start to enjoy your peace and silence and do not wish to talk to people anymore as before.  I was always known as a closed person, a person who does not share her experiences and thoughts very often and to everyone.

This was due to my insecurity and my thinking that I am not such an interesting or very smart person. It also has to do with my Scorpio rising sun that is always trying to hide when danger is in the area of his action( and there is always danger when you are in much fear ). When I started to work on myself and facing my fears, my insecurity started to cease and I opened myself more and all of a sudden the shy, insecure Natalija became all smile and chatted with everyone.  Ok, the Scorpio was always on guard but not so much as before.

With time you start to understand what life is and that every soul has it’s purpose on this Earth plane. Studying astrology helped me in realizing how unique we are and how every soul has it’s own path and destiny. Even the very similar natal charts, can be very different. It has been said that no one has been born at the same time in the last 25000 years. Is that not amazing?! Every soul born is unique in the whole universe. As my dear friend Alan would say: ” God is not making any fakes “.

With that in mind I realized I can not and am not allowed to judge anyone or tell someone what to do with their life as I can not see the bigger picture.  But people are used to interfere so much in other people’s lives and if it is not how they think it should be, they start to judge or even be very negative or rude to a certain soul. Just think of all the conversations you had or have with your friends. Most of the time you talk about others and what the significant other did or did not do. And we are so very much interested in other people’s life’s but so little in our own.

So with my development I started to less and less talk about other people and even started to justify them in front of others.  In the next stage I would just say nothing and people started to avoid me because I was not giving any energy to their conversations and I was not interesting because I was not participating.  Then all of a sudden I have heard a few times in this month how I am a closed person. First it made me think of the old days but then I realized how this is not the same, as I am not in fear, not hiding myself, not insecure. I am just enjoying my silence and I do not have the need to talk all the time.

I even stopped to run around and talk about my life.  In the past I was so eager to tell everyone what I do and how I feel, because I needed appreciation, I needed comfort and I needed applause,  but now only the very few best friends know.  And thank  God for them, otherwise I would feel very lonely in my thinking. I realized my life is perfect as it is and everything that is happening is happening because I have created it, so and nobody to blame for any mistakes or hardship.

Sometimes I do feel as a ” Little Prince ” because it is hard to explain to the fellow souls what is happening to you and with my action or non- action; I am bringing up a lot’s of anger and funny looks around me. But there is no need for justification. With love and peace in your heart and understanding you are floating through the day.