Male and Female energy

I always had physical problems on the right side of my body. Just name it:  right knee, right ovary, right kidney, right, right, right…I always knew there must be something deeper there as the right side represents the male side and the left side the female side of our energy field.

My right ovary was specially sensitive for very long time. It would hurt a lot and very often and my doctor told me ones it could get poly-cystic one day. When I asked him how to treat it and what was the cause for it, he simply said: “That is a great question, but we do not know the answer.”  Next time he said: ” It could be stress, it could be traveling, much sitting etc.”…yea, stress is to blame for everything.

I believe on that day I decided to find out the truth as I could not allow for my body to get sick and me not know what was the purpose and the cause of this pain.  So the first source for it was the book: Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom by Dr. Christiane Northrup. I find this book to be my Bible, and something that every woman should have on the book shelf as it is written by a female gynecologist and someone who has the holistic approach to the woman’s body. This is what she said about poly-cystic ovaries: negative feeling about ourselves as a woman, feelings of inferiority and not wanting to become a woman. Suppressed anger towards mother.

I must say that I did not see myself in this description and I could not refer it to my right ovary, but I continued to dig further. My ovary got attention and healing energy every day, massage with the most beautiful oil ( Master’s blend ) and I tried to talk to it. The pain would cease but it would come back again, especially after I would have a hard day at work and was stressed out ( my doctor would probably say: “There you go! There is your cause! ).

Months passed and the pain was still there until one day my dear friend Jean started to talk about the Emotion code healing technique. I was really interested and asked her if she can check my ovary and see if it contains any trapped emotion from the past. As soon as I gave her my permission, she connected with my ovary and said there is a trapped emotion of anger and if I can remember what happened 10 years ago. I could not remember immediately, but then she started to ask questions and it suddenly came to me. In that moment I’ve got very emotional and started to cry. I could see the situation so clearly, the situation in which I was humiliated by a male person and very much hurt. I thought I forgot and cleared it out,  but it was still there, deep in my subconscious as the energy that was stored in my ovary. Jean than did the healing with the magnet and I could feel the energy movement in my lower stomach. After the healing I still had pain but I knew things are moving forward and it is just a question of day when gone forever. Jean also told me there are some past life energies stored there, but the first layer was removed and I just need to patiently wait until it comes out, layer by layer.  So the digging continued…In every meditation I would ask for the answers and sometimes the past lives would come, all connected to some bad relationship with man where I was abused or used in some way.

One day while sitting with Margaret in her home in Seattle, I asked her if I am storing all the hard emotions in to my ovaries and she said yes, and gave me a wonderful affirmation to repeat. It goes like this. ” I do not longer store my emotions from this and past lives in to my ovaries. I release them by deeply crying.”

I repeated and repeated ( and still am ) this affirmation and one day just out of the blue I started to see my female and male energies in my meditation. It was the strongest meditation that I ever had in my life. My female side showed herself to me as a gentle, soft energy in a white robe. She has covered her face and was to shy and ashamed to show it. When I asked her to take it off, she could not do it so I gave her space and time. On the other hand my male side was all covered in brownish energy and did not wanted to show himself but only for a few seconds. I saw a tall man, with long mustaches and with kind of Tibetan look. He was a hermit and could not be near female energy. As if he meditated for long time and I woke him up to see the world. My female energy than approached him and kissed him very gently on his lips and the union was just amazing. I also remember holding their “hands ” and could feel the energy difference. I promised I will talk to them and try to heal them so they can really emerge and walk hand in hand completely balanced. To someone this could look as a big imagination, but believe me, it was not to me and I could not imagine this whole scenario.

Little by little my male side started to get out of the shadow and my female side started to show her face and I could feel their presence more often. Yesterday I have talked to my male side again and he said he will take care of my female side and protect it as a male should do. My female side on the other hand started to be very angry at men and I am experiencing volcano’s of anger connected with tears coming out at the moment. All the suppressed emotions I have carried around for lives and lives are coming to the surface now.

Continues…